


the way he makes me melt

by Anonymous



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: More like Hyungwon/Writer LMAOOO, Other, POV First Person, Self-Indulgent, Tagged it as other because there really isnt a gender here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27485806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: i think i could fall in love with you.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Reader
Kudos: 6
Collections: Anonymous





	the way he makes me melt

**Author's Note:**

> Imma keep it real. This isn't that great, I wrote it to vent about... a lot of different things at once so this is messy, it's short and it's self indulgent. I don't even really know why I'm posting it, since it's supposed to cater to uhhh pretty much only myself. I am the target audience for this fic and noone else LMAOO.

When I look at his eyes, I think I can see the most wonderful galaxies inside them. Everytime our hands touch, everytime he looks at me with that beautiful, gorgeous smile, I feel my chest burst into flames and my stomach twist and turn. 

"I think I have a crush on you," I told him that night, when we were laying on the grass and staring at the stars. He simply looked back at me in confusion, his eyebrow raised and his lips parted slightly.

"Is that a joke?" he asked me, and I simply groaned in annoyance.

"No, you idiot," I exclaimed, frustrated. I immediately felt guilty for calling him that. "Do you think I would ever joke about something like that?"

Hyungwon shook his head and then averted his gaze. I felt bad for a few seconds, thinking I did it all wrong, that maybe that wasn't the right time (but when would it ever be?) or that maybe my word choice had been reckless (but when it came to Hyungwon, when was I not reckless?). I felt like leaving and not seeing him again, forgetting this awkward exchange ever happened and maybe also forgetting his entire existence. But who would I be if Hyungwon weren't around?

"I'm sorry," I ended up saying. "I'm stupid and I say things I shouldn't and I'm making this weird and-"

"Stop," he begged me. "Please… stop."

"I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. You apologize too much." 

I sighed. I knew he was right. He always was. But that's how it had always been with me and old habits die hard.

"Why do you think you have a crush on me?" he eventually asked me, and I swallowed anxiously.

"You make me feel things," I replied, because that's the simplest way I can put it. And maybe it was too simple, because I remember him rolling his eyes at me.

"What type of things?"

"Well, it's confusing, really. I think about you all the time. You make my chest burn and my heart jumps when you're around. You make me think I can be happy, and that's amazing, because I haven't been happy for the longest time but the moment you showed up… the moment you showed up, Hyungwon, it's like everything changed. I smile more now, I feel happy for no reason. It's terrifying."

He seemed surprised by my sudden honesty and I could feel my cheeks burn. That was embarrassing, it was pathetic, and I couldn't blame anyone but him. My chest got warm when his expression softened.

"Why is it terrifying that you're happy? Isn't that a good thing?"

"It's because I haven't felt like this in forever. I haven't loved this hard in a while, I haven't wanted someone this much since… since I don't even know when. And it's terrifying because I also want to make _you_ happy."

He seemed confused, like he always did when I opened up to him. Maybe my feelings were too much of a mess for him to handle. Maybe _I_ was too much of a mess for him. That thought made me feel like shit.

"What's wrong about wanting to make me happy?" he asked me, reaching for my hand. "I like that about you. I like that you care about me."

"Because I can't," I blurted out. My voice was shaky and my chest felt so unbearably tight but I refused to cry, not in front of him. "No matter how much I try, I can't make you happy. You're so perfect and lovely and I'm… well, look at me!"

I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't the warm embrace he wrapped me under. And for a while, between us there was just silence and I felt thankful for that, because I didn't know if I had the energy to talk.

Instead, I just thought. Of him and his beautiful smile, the way he fidgets when he thinks no one's looking and how hard he tries to just be good and to just be loved and it broke my heart to just think of it. It still does. I wanted to tell him he was good enough, I wanted to tell him he meant the world to me and to so many others, but I didn't know how much my voice was worth, so instead I simply didn't.

And I didn't realize it at first, but tears were running down my face from how much his existence overwhelmed me, the way he made me melt against him and how much the butterflies in my stomach hurt me when they moved. He cleaned the tears off my face and I wanted to tell him to stop, tell him he shouldn't waste his time comforting someone as pathetic as me but I knew that wouldn't make him stop. He was way too much of a sweetheart for that.

"Hey," he told me in that soft, caring voice that made my heart flutter. "It's okay. You're good enough. You're so, so good, no matter what anyone else thinks, not even what _you_ think. You're strong and you care about others, you always try your best and you know just what to say when I feel down. You're always there for me, so let me be there for you."

And I don't know how, but I did. I stayed in his arms and allowed him to kiss my cheeks, play with my hair, whisper words of encouragement to my ear. Even if just for a few minutes, I chose to believe in his words, because Hyungwon wouldn't lie to me, would he?

"God, you're so good to me."

"You deserve to have someone be good to you."

"You shouldn't keep this up. I already have a crush on you, and I don't know how far you want to take it. I think… with a little more time, just a few more months… I think I could fall in love with you."

And when he smiled at my words, when he gave my forehead another kiss and told me that it was alright, I felt my insides melt all over again.


End file.
